found in tradition

Not too long ago, I took a brake out of the busy daily tasks of being great and decided to go south to linger in the sun for a few days. One of the conditions I had given myself was not to be connected to the internet all of the time. Yes, I had given myself an incredible challenge. The first few hours were hell. No new tweets, no status updates and no info on updated profile pictures. I felt alone, lost, naked. The flight attendents had to calm me down and the captain of the plane promised to send me a friend request once we had landed. The horror : “Please turn off all your electronic devices.”.

I checked in in the hotel and was told that they had free Wifi. Great news, but against my good resolution to be connected as little as possible. I decided I had to step out doors as soon as possible. And then it happened. I witnessed an ancient ceremony. Right there in front of my very own eyes. People were communicating without the help of any device. I know, sounds incredible, but they had no profile you could check out first, no public settings and poking someone would clearly result in the need for some medical attention.

I hurried back to the hotel and did some research. It seems that this ancient tradition of direct interfacing between people has been around for quite some time. It is not just some nice effort like Google +, but a proven way of interacting with others. And my research even revealed new things to me. This direct communication is not only done in the street, no, they have special environments that enforce the intention of what is called “socializing”. These special locations are called bars, cafes, restaurants etc. Each and everyone has its own specificities and extra functions.

It goes without saying that I was intrigued by this new knowledge, but luckily I did not have to practice it. I had been smart enough to make sure my mobile internet connection was active when roaming. I applaud tradition and feel lucky to have witnessed it. After all, soon it will be something we read about.

Sincerely mine

Victor Hale

you got away with it…

“They got away with what?” I hear you say. Well, MY IDEA! Yeah. The so-called personal computer they created, was my idea. Of course, my design was much better. I did not have the obvious flaws the first IBM PC had. You remember that? Of course you don’t. But ask your grand parents. These machines were awfull ! Nobody understood a thing about them and the only thing you could do was add some numbers (limited to 1 digit) and do some typing, which was then plotted out on a matrix printer that could wake up the neighbours.

Let me tell you about my design. I did present it to the board of directors at the time, but they did not believe in it. My PC (Private Communicator) would have done all a man really needed at the time. It would have found the nearest pub in no time, roll your cigarettes, but more importantly, get you all the details you needed on any girl or boy you liked. Yes, it would have been possible to store all that data on a platform you could share with your mates called FriendsBook. You would have sent info about a possibly interesting girl or boy to your friends via SheMail or HeMail depending on the content off course.

You know, when I think about it, it was not only IBM who stole my idea… HELP, I have been robbed! But guys, if you feel guilty about it, feel free to contact me and I will send you my bank account number so you can make it up to me. Thanks in advance.

Sincerely mine

Victor Hale

If you ever need anything…

More than anyone could bare, I have always been harassed by people asking me for advice or help. I can understand why they come to me off course, I mean, who else would they turn to. Clearly my vast experience in life and enourmous analytic talent are what they are craving to behold in action. It’s almost a downside of being me, which would be impossible, because, as you surely know, there is no downside of being me. Luckily I am humble enough to give some of my genius to the world.

For example, my facebook page is my way of giving back to society. The information is very interesting, the picture is amazing and off course, it’s about me. I never answer any questions, I don’t have the time to focus on individual issues. I have to look at the greater picture, the master plan. As one of the great minds of our age, I can not be bothered with the details. But I allow anyone to learn from me as they see fit. Watch and learn.

Recently however, it was brought to my attention that not everyone posseses the necessary skills to understand exactly what I am teaching the world, so I have come to a decission. I am willing to reply to your personal questions, but on one condition only. You must be on my Facebook friendslist.

So, become part of the selected club that is linked to me and I might help you. Don’t forget to tell your friends about it, because my Facebook friends will also have access to knowledge which the world is not ready for.

Sincerely mine

Mr Hale